Loneliness

as the sunlight slowly faded away
the city lights flickered on, one by one,
illuminating everything on the outside
and casting a shadow on the inside;

as time slowly ticked past,
the darkness inched closer and closer
spreading its shadows across the land,
my inner self comes alive;

as much as i struggle and curl underneath the blanket,
my fears come alive, and slowly engulfs me from the inside
and tears up the mask that i so successfully put on during the day;

fears that torment me from the inside during the day
comes alive as soon the light fades away and i am back into my den,
with a mind of its own, tormenting me every single night,
sometimes i wished i was dead;

surrounded by many,
yet isolated and alone,
i try to reach out to people
but succeed in grasping just empty air;

struggling to keep my sanity,
i plunge myself into darkness
for its the only place to hide
to cope with all this,
i give up and cry myself to sleep;

it’s tiresome to want something you don’t have, and each morning
i wake with loneliness by my side, each day I walk with it’s presence
in my footsteps, each night it lies hand in hand with my insomnia;

perhaps i have become invisible?
or have i become just an figment of imagination?
they cried on my shoulders and i soaked up their tears,
asking for nothing in return, but when i need someone,
where did they all go?