arun.
Administrator
Posts : 2039
Points : 6412
Join date : 2010-06-22
 |  Subject: ~~ Laugh Away ~~  Tue Jul 19, 2011 3:54 am | |
| Laugh Away Son :Father ,what will happen to you if I get 100 in Mathematics?
Father:I will get a heart attack.
Son:That is why,I scored zero.
Father:You said you were studying the whole night,but I found the lights switched off.How come?
Son:In my interest in studying ,I totally forgot about it.
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Wife:If I gone on cooking like this for you,what will I get?
Husband:You will get my L.I.C. money.
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Teacher: What is this?? He is sleeping like this, wake him up... told to another student..
2nd student: You will make him sleep and we have to awake him sir... so no sir
Teacher: (asking some questions on letter Nehru to Indira)
Student:: Dont know, I will not read others letters..
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Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
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Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
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Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,shouting,
"Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math's and 20 in science."
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Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
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Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
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Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
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1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions .
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Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
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Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'
'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.
' How long has what been going on?' said the man.
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Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.
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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
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Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
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Lady: Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady: Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi .
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
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A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda." | |
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