A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up
the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for
you. You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on
the wrong bus!"
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
John: "Waiter, I'd like a hamburger and some kind words.
Waiter: "Here's your hamburger, sir.
John: What about the kind words?
Waiter: I wouldn't eat that hamburger if I were you, sir.
(=‡_‡=)
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he
asked the man in custody, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you
doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened”
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing
cards...
You need a Heart to love him
A Diamond to marry him
A Club to smash his head in
And a Spade to bury him
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
One couple is discussing about their past, present and future.
The husband asks his wife: “If I die, with whom you will stay?”
Wife replied with sad mood: “With my sister”.
Then Wife also asked to Husband: “With whom you will stay if I died?”
Husband replied: “I will stay with your sister too.”
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head. Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night.
Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.
When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead. It read: "My name is Daniel."
Moral: Children are always capable of recovering faster in any small accidents or illness. But elders are slow in everything and worry too much unnecessarily.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Endearments
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host,
preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her
Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after
all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife
those pet names."
Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her
name three years ago!"
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A perfect wife is one who doesn't expect a perfect husband
நட்புடன் .....
அருண் @ நான் அவன் இல்லை
Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:16 pm by tjp
Subject: Week-end-Relax(Jokes) !!! 
