arun.
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 |  Subject: ~~ How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians abroad?~~  Sun Jul 24, 2011 3:29 am | |
| How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians abroad? To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:
Q.What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A
1.Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
2.Each dot is unique. Since most indian women are very beautiful their husbands might be confused so they look at each dot to identify their wives. Also at night the dots will shine..like a flashlight.
Q.You're from India?I have read so much about the country.All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A.Absolutely.In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house.But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air.You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q.Does India have cars?
A.No.We ride elephants to work.The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Q.Does India have TV?
A.No.We only have cable.
Q.Are all Indians vegetarian?
A.Yes.Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q.How come you speak English so well?
A.You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians as servants.It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.
Q.Are you a Hindi?
A.Yes.I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q.Do you speak Hindu?
A.Yes,I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Q.Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A.Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
Q.India is very hot, isn't it?
A.It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
Q.Are there any business companies in India?
A.No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food.That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard work.
Q.Do you have Coca-Cola in India?
A.it was first made out of coconut...in india. But Indians didn't like it much. So the Americans bought it and named it coke (from coconut).
Q.India is such a religious place.Do you meditate regularly?
A.Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink.But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that.But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.
Q.I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A.We don't have shoes.So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.
Q.Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A.I prefer it to coming naked. | |
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