rathi
Posts : 259
Points : 423
Join date : 2010-05-09
Age : 41
Location : india
 |  Subject: student jokes :)  Sat Jul 31, 2010 7:40 pm | |
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Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."
A lecturer teaching medicine was giving a classoom observation. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of color, smell, sight, and taste."
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth."
A child comes home from his first day at school. His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52-years-old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
Molly : Mummy, please ask for a new teacher for me. Mother : Why, darling? Molly : My teacher can never make up her mind. The day before yesterday, she said 5 and 4 make 9. Yesterday she said 2 and 7 make 9 and today she said that it’s 3 and 6 that make 9!
The teacher asked his students to draw a ring. As expected, all drew objects with circular shapes. However, one little boy drew a square. “Why have you drawn a square?” the teacher asked. “Mine is a boxing ring, Sir,” the boy replied.
Peter : Daddy, I got a hundred marks in school today! Father : Why, that’s wonderful! For what did you get a hundred in? Peter : 30 marks for Maths, 50 marks for English and 20 marks for Science. Altogether 100 marks!
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