Weekend-Relax
Rifle shopping
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.
"It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to
shoot him!"
)))))
( c ‘o
‘:.,-’
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his
children and immediately started to assemble it with all
the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting
to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and
called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in
a short while had the set completely assembled.
It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together
without even reading instructions."
"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read,
and when you can't read, you've got to think."
)))))
( c ‘o
‘:.,-’
**************************
On a Plumber's truck:
'We repair what your husband fixed.'
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
**************************
At an Opticians Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
**************************
On a Fence:
'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'
**************************
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'
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In a Restaurant window:
'Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.'
**************************
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'
Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:16 pm by tjp
Subject: ~~ Weekend-Relax ~~